My fiancé’s parents are loaded. Old money loaded. They can afford what I’m asking, no problem.
I make very good money at my job. I’m currently 27 and earn over $170,000 a year. Tim is a teacher. He doesn’t make much, but he has a trust fund, so he works sort of as a public service. It’s big in his family.
Recently, I had a weird conversation with him and his folks. They think that after the wedding, I should quit working and be a stay-at-home mom. I thought they were joking and kind of laughed. They are perfectly serious. They think it’s emasculating that I earn more than Tim.
Over the course of my career, I will earn much more than he. But his trust fund is low seven figures. He could afford to pay me what I earn yearly, but he can’t due to the stipulations of his trust. His mom, on the other hand, has lots of interests built up in her trust.
So I offered a solution I thought was fair. They set up an irrevocable trust for me. They must contribute to my gross earnings yearly, with bumps for anticipated raises and promotions. The deposits would be for the next 35 years. That was, I’m a stay-at-home mom, Tim is the breadwinner, and I’m protected in the case of a divorce.
They went nuts. Apparently, I’m ridiculous for thinking they will give me money. I offered a compromise. I sign a prenup wherein I am entitled to half of Tim’s trust fund in the case of divorce if I give up my career. Also, not acceptable to them.
I’m kind of at a loss. Do they honestly think I would give up my career with zero safety net?
My mom says I’m being kind of rude, putting everything in such stark monetary terms. I think I’m being reasonable. What do you think?
But it’s not just financial pressure that can cause friction—sometimes, it’s the emotional and personal boundaries that are tested. For example, when our reader gave birth, she thought the hardest part would be the sleepless nights.
But instead, it was her mother-in-law’s constant criticism that made her question everything. The breaking point came when her MIL told her, “That’s not a father’s job.” Read on to find out what happened next.