Overview
Table of Contents
As a lesbian, you may know all about dating apps. Lesbian Americans (along with bisexual and gay Americans) are far more likely to have ever used dating apps than straight Americans: 51 percent to 28 percent, according to the Pew Research Center.
There are a few reasons why LGBTQ people might turn to online dating quicker than hetero folks. For one, you might live in an area without a thriving LGBTQ community, and in-person dating may be hard. If you don’t know other lesbians to begin with, how can you meet more IRL to date? (Sometimes, lesbian spaces can also be co-opted by The Straights.) And, unfortunately, in-person dating may also be less safe depending on where you live.
Thankfully, we live in a time where we can find people like us with a few swipes. Lesbians are welcome on major dating apps, and there are also niche ones specifically for lesbians and other queer women and people. But which one to choose?
Niche lesbian dating apps aren’t your only option for finding love.
Credit: Stacey Zhu / Mashable
In Mashable’s recommendations below, you’ll find both general dating apps and apps specifically for queer people. As the former appeals to the general population, you’ll find more users in these spaces. The caveat, however, is that when you swipe on other women, you might find those coupled with men who are looking for another woman to have a threesome with (aka unicorn hunters). No judgment here, but that’s probably not what you’re looking for. Then again, people of all types are on dating apps like Tinder and Hinge. You never know who you may come across.
Then there are apps specifically for the community, like HER and Lex. If you yearn for a smaller dating scene, head for these apps. While there’s no “Grindr for lesbians” — we go into why in the FAQ section — these apps are more so like stepping into your neighborhood lesbian bar than an app like Bumble.
You can also try multiple dating apps, as each one below has a free version. You can filter out which gender you identify with and are looking for, and sometimes, like in the case of OkCupid, there are many options to choose from.
Diving into the dating pool isn’t easy, but the water’s fine. Check out our guide below for the full rundown of our recommendations and dating app reviews.
The Good & The Bad
-
Opportunity for local LGBTQ community involvement
-
Niche corners like “newly out” and “travelers”
-
Users encouraged to advertise the type of relationship they’re looking for
- Dedicated spot for pronouns in bio
-
Some biphobia reported in the past
- Same profiles recycled in feed
“HER is built specifically and uniquely for the sapphic community,” the CEO and founder of HER, Robyn Exton, tells Mashable. “There are parts of lesbian, bisexual, and queer identities that are so important to express on profiles and connect through that mainstream heteronormative apps will never provide for LGBTQ+ users.”
One of those features is HER’s unique Pride Pins, which let you show off important aspects of your identity (think femme, masc, stud, etc.) and even filter for other users based on those pins — all for free. No other app does that, folks.
Exton also tells us that HER’s commitment to the queer community goes beyond virtual connections. “Beyond that, we’re also integrated with the LGBTQ+ community IRL — listing events for our users to attend together and ways to discover new ways of meeting sapphics in their area outside of the app.”
Details
Details
The Good & The Bad
-
Trendy redesign is genuinely fun to navigate
-
“Hide from straight people” option
-
Shows a percentage for each match based on things you agree on (or don’t)
-
Highly gender- and orientation-inclusive space
- Expands compatibility to social justice views
-
Reports of data breaches
-
Not great in small/rural areas
- Often marketed as a free app, but you have to pay for the best features
The app’s 2017 redesign goes past enlisting a clearly-millennial graphic designer. For young, left-leaning singles, personal politics aren’t just a “well if we agree, it’s great” thing when looking for a partner. Users can weed out people they’d hate by answering deal-breakers about things like keeping a gun in the house or requiring children to be vaccinated.
OkCupid’s connections are strengthened by an algorithm that picks matches based on how similarly both parties answered questions during sign-up (yes, there are questions about communication and sappy relationship things as well as political views.) A compatibility score plus details on where you disagreed are helpful padding when it comes to evaluating what differences are dealbreakers.
Details
The Good & The Bad
-
SO many users
-
Even great in less-populated places
-
Nine orientation and 37 gender options
- Safety features for LGBTQ travelers in homophobic countries
-
Guys and straight girls in your matches
- Men pretending to be women
“If you’re looking for a casual hookup with a wide user base, Tinder is usually an easy place to start,” Kiana Reeves, Somatic Sex Educator, Intimacy Coach, and Chief Education Officer at Foria, tells Mashable. “The app allows you to filter potential matches based on gender, location, and age preferences and will certainly give you a broad sense of what the dating scene is like in your area across a wide range of interests and ages.”
Though your feed will likely be packed with way more lesbians than other apps, it’ll see more appearances by men, too. Tinder has a tendency to ignore filters here and there, though men obviously can’t talk to anyone who doesn’t swipe right. Who can message you, though, are the girls you swipe right for who, surprise, aren’t on Tinder to meet women romantically. Some are looking for friends; some are recruiting a third for a threesome with their boyfriend — either way, you’ll have to do some wedding.
Thankfully, Tinder has made some changes within the last few years to improve its safety features, including verified profiles and the “Does This Bother You?” feature, which flags potentially inappropriate messages and asks the receiver if they’d like to report them. You can also block other users for shitty behavior, which is nice.
Details
The Good & The Bad
-
Unique profile criteria like political affiliation and stance on marijuana
-
Diverse user base that’s growing fast
-
Near-infinite pronoun options
-
Actually uses a matching algorithm
- Fewer ignorant, horny people and unicorn hunters
-
Have to pay for unlimited matches
- Pricey premium options
Hinge’s unique profile criteria and algorithm based on that criteria set matches up for real-life potential. Some 90 percent say the first date was great and 72 percent are down for a second date.
“For women in their 20s and 30s looking for something a little more serious than Tinder, both Hinge and Bumble are great options,” Reeves adds. “Both apps provide a bunch of prompts that make it easy to start up a conversation and meet new people, without the pressure of diving into a new relationship right away.”
Instead of mindless swiping, matches are made by liking or commenting on someone’s prompt answers. Prompts range from fun icebreakers like “Two truths and a lie” to deeper questions like “Does hiking on a Sunday morning seem viable to you, too?” You get a limited number of likes per day on the free version, which encourages you to be more intentional about who you choose to connect with.
And if you forget to reply to messages, Hinge’s new “Your Turn Limits” feature, which launched globally in September 2024, prevents you from matching with new people if there are eight or more unanswered messages in your inbox. (Obvs, your potential matches have to play by the same rules, too.) This helps keep the conversation going, in theory.
Unlike Tinder and Bumble, which seem to have faulty gaydar, Hinge users report far fewer men popping up in their feeds uninvited. Hinge users also experience more genuine queer people (and less unicorn hunting) on the app compared to the other big players.
Some women say Hinge helped them come into an era of self-discovery as queer individuals. Emma, who’s keeping her last name out of this, told Mashable she downloaded Hinge (with the support of her ex-boyfriend) and set it to women only and realized it was so much easier to create a profile with women instead of men in mind — she said it finally allowed her to stop “trying to be someone [she’s] not.” Now, she’s in a happy relationship with a woman she met on Hinge.
Details
The Good & The Bad
-
Video-driven, like TikTok
-
Free features include unlimited messages and group chat
-
Matching is easy: just “heart” a video and wait for them to reciprocate
- Offers multiple communication methods, including text, photos, and video
-
Only available on Android
-
Smaller user base compared to other apps
- Might not be for shy singles who aren’t comfortable being on video
Fem is basically the dating app version of the queer TikTok experience. It’s video-driven, with a feed that shows you people making quick vlog-style introductions. You can also chat (unlimited messages) for free right within the app. You can “heart” videos and match them with the people you vibe with.
If you’d rather not talk one-on-one with a random match right away, Fem has public group chats, so you can join group conversations to get a feel for the community first. The downside is that this app is only available for Android users, but it does have 1M+ downloads, according to the Play Store, so the community is growing.
Details
The Good & The Bad
-
24-hour matching period gets rid of dead matches
-
Allows backtracking if you accidentally swipe left
-
Many gender pronouns
- BFF feature could help to find friends in the LGBTQ community
-
Straight people might still pop up
- 24-hour time limit might cause pressure to always be on the app
And if the other person doesn’t message back within 24 hours? Poof, match gone. This punchy (albeit a bit jarring) approach could be refreshing for people who are tired of staring at a list of Tinder matches from six months ago. If nothing else, it’s a comfort zone pusher — and a confidence booster when those first messages start coming in.
In April, the app revamped its “First Move” feature to include “Opening Moves,” which gives people who are uncomfortable sending the first message the option to set a question (or create one) so that matches can initiate a conversation. Bumble also added additional options to its “Dating Intentions” badges, including “life partner” and “fun, casual dates,” so you’re more likely to be matched with someone who’s on the same page.
You’ll see pictures and short bios of potential matches in your area and can swipe depending on whether you’re interested. It’s a pretty close mock of Tinder, except for the fact that Bumble relieves the anxiety of accidentally swiping left on a hottie by letting you backtrack. Bumble also offers a BFF feature (great for making local, queer friends) and a Linkedin-ish networking feature called Bizz in an attempt to remind everyone that it’s not just a hookup app.
Details
The Good & The Bad
-
No crossed signals, mushy messages, or waiting
-
Artsy design and modern layout
-
Everything is deleted after 24 hours
- Stellar reviews in App Store
-
Price point is unnecessarily high
-
Definitely won’t be useful in small towns
- Infiltrated by scammers/catfishers
Note: If you live in a small town, you might have a harder time finding matches nearby.
Your selfies, bio, conversations, matches, and likes self-destruct every 24 hours, promoting spur-of-the-moment, borderline anonymous hookups. No nudity is allowed and any photos sent in messages can’t be saved. (As the dry-humored comics on their website state, “Don’t talk about your problems. Problems are for therapists. Pure is for fun.”) The app will ask for your phone number, but that’s just to make sure you’re a real person. The app uses your geolocation and sends out the sex version of an Uber request, though the sparse user base might have your searches suggesting the same few people.
Details
The Good & The Bad
-
Not swipe- or photo-based (but has the option for a profile pic)
-
You can find your LGBTQ community, including beyond dating
- Free to use
-
You can only make 6 posts a month
- Not strictly a dating app, if that’s what you’re looking for
Lex originally started as an Instagram account called Personals, meant for sapphic people to find each other. It was inspired by personal ads in On Our Backs, a women-run lesbian erotica magazine that ran from the 1980s to the early 2000s.
Over time, it evolved into a community app for LGBTQ people. On Lex, you can find a date — or someone to go to an art show with, or a pet sitter, or a new potential friend.
Lex is a great option if you’re, say, someone new to queer dating and want to dip your toe into it. You can even find your queer “people” first — maybe someone to go out to the local lesbian bar with. Lex also alleviates the pressure of dating apps that require several photos of you.
Lex is also free to use unless you want to check out posts in other places. To do this, you must pay for “Lexplore,” but the options are pretty affordable ($3.99 for one week or $5.99 for one month).
Details
We’ve decided to pull our recommendation for Feeld as of Aug. 2024. We’ve been keeping an eye on the app following their Dec. 2023 rebrand, which brought location-related safety concerns and other bugs. More recently, we’ve heard rumblings about further security issues, and in evaluating the scope of Feeld’s issues since its rebrand, have decided to remove Feeld until we have more information.
The feeling of what makes a “good” dating app can be highly subjective, which is why we take an all-encompassing approach when making our recommendations.
We actually spend time testing out these apps, making sure we don’t see repeat profiles or encounter glitchy features. We look at what’s available for free, and how the features of an app actually cater to specific audiences — in this case, we looked at whether filters and profile prompts were useful for queer women.
Our sex and relationships team stays up to date on the latest updates from apps and how they affect user experience, so we’re sure to keep that in mind, too. And, of course, we turn to social media and the internet to hear about the wider user experience of these apps. Though Reddit users hardly paint a rosy picture of the dating app scene, user feedback gives us a better sense of what apps people are actually using to get results, what they like about them, and what they wish could be better.
Frequently Asked Questions
Good news: All the dating apps on this list have a free version. In recent years, however, some users have complained that some apps are putting their best features behind paywalls — like this opinion story about Grindr complaints Mashable published last year. So, know that before going in. But in the case of two apps on this list, Lex and Fem, they’re totally free (except if you want to change your location on Lex, then you need to pay).
If you’re interested in more free dating apps, head to our roundup of the best free dating apps worth trying in 2025.
Scissr was apparently the “lesbian Grindr,” but according to Reddit comments/threads, it isn’t available anymore. Its website appears non-existent, and its Instagram hasn’t been updated since 2019. It’s disappointing to see a lesbian-forward dating app go, but there are others available on this list.
None of these apps are exclusively for lesbians. In fact, you can find a partner on one of the “mainstream” apps as well.
But if you’re not sure of your sexuality — say, whether you’re bisexual or a lesbian — you can still use any of these apps. There’s no one right way to date as an LGBTQ person, except maybe to be as honest with other people as possible. If you’re still questioning, you can say that! If you’re new to gay dating, you can say that, too. If a potential match isn’t into it, you’ll find someone who is.
